There's so much.
Whoa. Broad statement, I know. I'll try my best to enlighten both myself and you as to what this means. But in a later blog. I feel light tonight. I don't feel like going deep into my heart and unjumbling such a big thing.
I'm supposed to be asleep so that I can be well rested for church tomorrow. But is my brain settling down?! Noooooooo. It's like Katy the train at Dollywood. It just keeps chuggalugging right up that mountain.
I feel like I should try to explain women at this point. Today, my brother (being the all observant man that he is) pointed out the ground breaking fact that I am emotional. I yo-yo'd between patting him on the back while making him feel like he's figured out the world and punching the living daylights out of his arm (see, if I were the violent type, that would have been his face...but I'm not violent...certainly not me!) to make him see how inconsiderate and ridiculous that comment was.
The first won out. (another example of me NOT being violent!)
YES, I AM EMOTIONAL. Good job, big buddy. Ding ding ding! We have a winnerrrrrrrrr. One second, I am completely fine, and the next, I am ready to take a swing at someone. Is this normal? In all women that I have seen, yes, it is. Completely. Totally. Normal. Maybe some women hide it, some are more adept in handling it, and some, like me, "fly off the handle" with things. But every woman that I have ever met, read about, or seen is this "emotional" he is talking about.
And then, the Adam and Eve discussion was brought up. Ok, let's get this clear. Eve was seduced by a snake (the DEVIL). Adam followed Eve and he was supposed to be the leader of the two. What happened?!
And even if Eve did eat the fruit and made a bad decision, what of this is MY fault?! I did not affect her choice, I can assure you of that. I am absolutely certain that Eve did not look thousands of years into the future and say, "Because of Jessica, I will eat this fruit and doom mankind." Do not tell me that women brought this upon themselves. One woman brought this upon me. And the Devil (a male figure) brought it upon her. It is not my fault.
Emotional. Yep, that's me to a T. I would rather call it "passionate". But in this male domineering world, it shall remain "emotional" and little me cannot change that. I care about many subjects and people and things. I will continue to be "emotional" whenever I please. Thank you very much, big brother, for noticing that I am indeed "emotional".
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
My Tippy Top List of Things I Know Now
The semester has come to an end. Ahhhhhhh. What a wonderful feeling. It was, without a doubt, THE hardest semester in my entire life. Three things I've learned and still am in the process of remembering and embrazoning in my heart this semester:
1) Pray but don't forget to listen. God is listening no matter what time of day it may be...but He's got more to say than you do sometimes. Instead of bombarding Him with questions and Please-bless-thats, I need to try, "I am listening now." and truly be silent.
2) Believe. There IS a God. And when you feel like no one understands, no one cares, no one has ever been where you are right now, not even me, He is there and willing to wrap you in His embrace. I know, I know. You've heard that all before. So had I. For 19 years. But it was not enough. I needed to live it. I needed to be there in those moments when I felt like all of the above was going on to truly be able to say, "Yes, God is real." Face it, we all have a bit of Thomas inside of us. We all want proof of everything. When I felt like nothing could save or help me, He proved He was there. He didn't have to do that, but He loved me. He cared for me. Why, He even listened to me fit about things I couldn't control and things that were so minute yet so big to me....all to help me believe.
3) Be appreciative. Nothing is kinder than a thank you note to show just how much I care about someone. A note means that I did not pick somethin goff the shelf and proclaim it good enough to be a thanks. It means I love the person enough to actually think about them and took the time to write out everything I love about them. It is a personal goal to do a LOT more of this stuff. Just because I can't afford huge diamond rings doesn't mean I can't put a HUGE amount of thought and love into a note.
Ok, that's it. Of all the kings, laws, rules, grammar, biology, and how to be an educator, these three things are at the top of my "I am so glad I learned these things." In fact, they're the tippiest top.
Love,
Jessica
1) Pray but don't forget to listen. God is listening no matter what time of day it may be...but He's got more to say than you do sometimes. Instead of bombarding Him with questions and Please-bless-thats, I need to try, "I am listening now." and truly be silent.
2) Believe. There IS a God. And when you feel like no one understands, no one cares, no one has ever been where you are right now, not even me, He is there and willing to wrap you in His embrace. I know, I know. You've heard that all before. So had I. For 19 years. But it was not enough. I needed to live it. I needed to be there in those moments when I felt like all of the above was going on to truly be able to say, "Yes, God is real." Face it, we all have a bit of Thomas inside of us. We all want proof of everything. When I felt like nothing could save or help me, He proved He was there. He didn't have to do that, but He loved me. He cared for me. Why, He even listened to me fit about things I couldn't control and things that were so minute yet so big to me....all to help me believe.
3) Be appreciative. Nothing is kinder than a thank you note to show just how much I care about someone. A note means that I did not pick somethin goff the shelf and proclaim it good enough to be a thanks. It means I love the person enough to actually think about them and took the time to write out everything I love about them. It is a personal goal to do a LOT more of this stuff. Just because I can't afford huge diamond rings doesn't mean I can't put a HUGE amount of thought and love into a note.
Ok, that's it. Of all the kings, laws, rules, grammar, biology, and how to be an educator, these three things are at the top of my "I am so glad I learned these things." In fact, they're the tippiest top.
Love,
Jessica
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