ROAD TRIP!

Yesterday, I was ferried to Foley, Alabama. While is was amazing, it was also a trip of hidden realizations both of myself and in general.

I bought a watch. Actually, I bought two watches...one for me and one for Mom. They're both cute and Fossil and fit perfectly. We got in the truck, a little later than planned, to go eat at Lambert's, and immediately, I began to worry because we weren't on time. "They surely will be too busy." "They won't be accepting any more guests." "It will be waaaaaaaaay to long to wiat even though we drove hours to eat here." I was worried...to say the least.

I realized we don't afford the time to do what is most important to us. Instead, we slump around doing everything we know isn't worth the TIME....just because it "has to be done." Instead of worrying about the time, I should have been focused on the fact that I got to spend even more time talking with my parents...something that's rare in a house filled with 11...about to be 12, children and infants.

Yet, we do nothing to change that habit we've somehow formed of doing the mundane. We continue our roads to afford us comfort and peace in our minds...knowing we are getting things checked off the ever so important long list....only to add MORE things to that list.

I realized that I, for the past YEARS have been on this road needing to do everything on my list. But recently, I was overwhelmed by the fact that the list wasn't being cut down even though I was actively fighting to get that to happen. Yesterday, I saw that even though I will always have a million and one things to do, and not near enough time to do it in, I DO have control of what I do in the time I'm given. I have to CHOOSE to fill it with the important things...time doesn't control itself.

There will always be a list...but now, I'll make sure to include something that's important to me everyday on that list to remind myself that, unless I fill some TIME with important things, the TIME will be filled with something else.

When I was little, somehow I got the saying, "You can never do nothing." Nothing is...well nothing. It is a concept, an idea, at best. If you set out to do "nothing", you will certaintly face failure. So instead of saying, "I am not going to do a thing today," I say, "I am going to relax today." It gives me what I need, relaxation, along with my crazy insane human nature of always needing to check something off. Best of both worlds, as a certain famous Disney star sings.

Some might call this crazy that I schedule relaxation. All the same, I do. Maybe I am crazy...

Out of time for this now :) Gotta run pick up my Granny.

Hope this makes a little sense!

J

A Complete Rant

So. This will be a kind of rant. Just a few things...I hope.

Thing # 1: I'm sick of this "you can do anything you want..." mindset. #1 reason: It is a lie and too vague. There will be somethings I can NEVER do. #2 It is so overwhelming to be told this as if you already don't know the ridiculous amount of choices you are faced with. #3 It causes people to lose sight or never really ask God what HE wants for their lives. All the hear from the time they are young is "YOU can be anything YOU want..." God is never factored into that statement...which is completely ridiculous. What they should say, "God will lead you where you need to be. Be patient and do the best you can." This gives the person a tip on what he or she needs to be doing in thewhilst watiting for God to point a clear path. It isn't the least bit vague.

Thing # 2: I'm a bit overwhelmed from people putting me in the middle of situations and of myself doing this very thingto my very own self. My shoulders are too saggy to bear this weight...and it just keeps happening over and over. I love talking to people. I love listening to people. Problem is: I have this "I need to solve it." complex. Anytime anyone tells me anything I IMMEDIATELY begin to rack my brain for possible solutions. Thing is, I do not KNOW very many solutions and feel entirely like a failure when I can't "fix" these problems. Feeling like a failure isn't the problem....it's the failing part.

Thing # 3: Why do I let myself say thing I later regret ever saying? Why didn't I come with a filter? One that filters my words BEFORE I say them...not AFTER they're said.

Thing # 2 has been bothering me for quite a while. I have an internal "you need to fix their problem" mechanism that kicks into overdrive. When really what I NEED to have is an internal "you need to pray for them" mechanism. I can't fix very much on my own...only God knows what each and every person truly needs. For some reason, I can't get that through my skull. Fingers and heart realize it...but brain just won't accept that. HOW ANNOYING!

Thing # 1 is just a pet peeve. Not really a problem per se.

Anyway, those are the things that have been on my brain and heart for the past few minutes...so there ya have it. Any suggestions?

J

Just a little glimpse

I live the life of a college student. And although it is time consuming, demanding, stressful, etc....I try to capture every single second of it. Trying to make sense of life is like trying to make a square a circle...some things just aren't meant to be. As I attempt to figure things out, I will let you know of my findings!