Do You Dare to Listen?

My family and I just talked for 2 and a half hours...and it was fantastic. I loved it. That came as no surprise to me. However, the thought just popped in my mind, "How many families in this world could do that...leave all signs of modern technology alone, all selfishness alone, and simply talk about dreams without everyone talking at once, someone talking on the phone, someone texting, a tv blaring, someone fighting?" The answer I formed was not many. Sure, there are a couple of families that come to mind...but very few. Very very very few.

You see, my parents made it a point, at a very young age (so young that I don't remember this), they began having times where we as a family would talk. At first, I'm sure it was shorter periods; however, that has grown into 2 1/2 hours and ended only because it is so late and everyone needed sleep. I don't know if my parents consciously did this...I just remember that as a child, my dad would say, "Come sit down and let's talk." My heart would jump, and my mind would begin buzzing. I knew that this was a time when I could hear and say everything. This was a time that a lot of things would be learned and stored away for future use...good life lessons whether the topic be a new house, upcoming vaction, or the weather... I KNEW I was going to learn something...and that excited me more than talking did (don't tell my family...I still DO LOVE to talk :). In fact, I would keep talking in the high hopes that THEY would keep talking....so that I could learn something else.

My point is many Americans are not conditioned to listen. We wonder why suicide and violence is up? Most times, the committer doesn't feel heard. Imgaine that. Does anyone see the connection I see? It might be a long shot, but by listening, we might could lessen violence...just by showing someone that you will listen. How simple. Yet how hard. "I'm soooooooo busy...I just don't have time to listen to him/her blab on and on." YOU listening could very well save that person's life...at the very least, you're making his/her life waaaaaaaay better.

Listening shows you care. You care enough about a person to put down what you are doing, stop your brain from its 90 mph speed track (it needs a break anyway) and actually listen. THAT TAKES A LOT OF CARING!

Anyway, back to the family chats. On those nights that we would sit in our pjs and simply talk, I felt loved. I felt cherished. I felt like I belonged in a place I could always call "mine". I was with my family. Some of the best times of my life have been spent there with them chiming in my worth nearly every 2 seconds. And they put up with that. The zillions of questions, the "I don't understands", the "I don't think..."s. All of it. My family answered every question, tried to explain every I-don't-understand, and encouraged me to think the way I wanted to think.

I can honestly say that, though we're not perfect, I am blessed with a truly amazing family. Thank YOU, Jesus! He really does know everything we need.

Be blessed,
Jessica

Questions

So a few things have been happening since I've last blogged. Interesting things, you ask? Well, perhaps one step further to the word imperative.

Sure, there has been the normal life stuff...getting mad at the guy who walks so slowly while smoking a cigarrette KNOWING the sidewalk isn't big enough for me to pass...getting over the illness...the millions of appointments that seem to have all come up at once....tests that aren't going so well...teachers who don't want to teach...THOSE kind of things.

But along with that, came lessons that I know one day will be counted as invaluable. Learning to be patient. Whew. How hard THAT is. Learning that God has a plan and even though I'm but a pixel right now, someday, I hope to be able to stand back from the painting that is my life and see the Masterpiece and the delicate strokes that comprise me. I want to see how much God has led me...how much God knows what's best.

At the pixel level, it's so hard to see how everything can get done...all I see is the VAST rough canvas that has SO much to be colored and covered...yet I have just in this moment of writing realized I am not meant to be the Painter alone. I, the human who wants to be a show off and handle the ENTIRE canvas by myself, do not know the mixtures of the paints, the mediums, the texture the painting must have. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PAINT.

Letting go of things has always been a difficulty for me. How exactly does one go about such? Is it worry that I'm hanging on to? Fear? Stress? Are they all one? Why am I holding on so tightly to such destroying things? Really, they're all just feelings...ideas....

Maybe I should tell you one more thing before I go study: answers don't always get pretty bows attached from God saying, "HERE LIES THE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS." Sometimes it's a still quiet voice that we often miss. Sometimes, it's a blessing we didn't expect. And sometimes, dear friends, answers seem elusive. I won't lie and say in my next blog, I'll have all the answers. I can say, however, that I fully intend to listen rather intently for God's voice and let Him lead my heart in the right direction so that I can have a beautiful canvas.

Until next time, may God bless you,
J